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Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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