I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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