I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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