the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
