I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
