Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
