she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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