There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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