not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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