so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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