I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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