Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
