My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
