I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
