My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
