Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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