the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
