That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
