I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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