dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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