very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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