He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
