I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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