just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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