i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
