Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
