i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
