She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
