He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
