he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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