now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
