sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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