I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
