My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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