I've blown a few things in my day
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
