i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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