his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
