She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
