I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
