Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
