before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hello my rib-scented angel!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
