How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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