I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
