you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
