apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
