addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
