i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
