You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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