Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
