what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
third nipple confirmed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
