Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
