Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
