hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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