I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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