Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
