Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
