So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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