Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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