He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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