two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
